Here it is, the beginning of 2000. It’s been a few days more than two years since I wrote It’s 1998. Do you know where your life is at? In a month and a half I will be 20. I have grown and changed since I wrote that rambling. Despite the fact that to do so is to perpetrate a heinous crime against my native language, I am once again forced to ask myself: Where am I at? Of course, I still don’t mean in a physical sense, but in more of a philosophical, rambly sense. I find, that, while I’ve grown and changed a lot, where I’m at is still not at all where I’d like to be at.
I have made some strides in the areas of independence and self-sufficiency, but not nearly enough. Here, two years down the road, I still haven’t acheived all of my one-year goals.
These were the goals I listed two years ago:
- A job.
- A car.
- A life.
- My own home.
Let’s take a look at what I’ve done and what I haven’t done about each of these since then:
- A job.
- I am now employed. I work at a software company in Milpitas, which is quite hectic, but I like what I’m doing. The money is nice, but it has not yet given me the independence that I need. I am now able to support myself, and though I live with my father, I do pay half the rent, utilities, etc. It is nice to be able to spend money – MY money – without being accountable to anyone for where it goes.
- A car.
- This is still an issue, and right now it is the biggest hurdle on my road to independence. The truth is, I don’t want to drive. Have you seen what traffic is like in the Bay Area? It’s ridiculous. Yet transportation is necessary, and often public transit doesn’t cut it. It’s too slow, and too unreliable. I need a quick way to get where I’m going without having to deal with commute traffic and idiot drivers and car insurance and the expense of gasoline and, and, and, and, and…
I’m thinking maybe a motorcycle would be a good compromise. We shall see.
- A life.
- Now that I’m working, this is not as much of a problem, but it still rears its ugly head once in a while. I need to go out more often, make more friends, date, and just generally interact with people. I need to learn the social skills that were denied me when I was younger.
- My own home.
- This has improved some. I now live only with my father in an apartment where I pay half the rent. We are on opposite sides of the living room, and we just generally don’t bother each other. It works out well, in my opinion, but I would like to try living alone one of these years.
My life has improved in some ways, but in others I’m just not going anywhere. Here’s to a new year, to the possibilities of change, and to independence.